家到他的 hot tub 泡热水，但我因为例假的原因没有泡成，很想补上，单独和他一起泡，鸳鸯戏水。

换上一件 Victoria’s Secret 内衣，水蓝色，丝绸的，可以当睡裙穿，领开得很低，开口处有桃红色的蕾丝，下摆大腿旁有很深的开口，很性感。外面套件上班服，一本正经去上班。

给他打电话。

我：想今天到你那里 — 一起泡 hot tub— 新年 party 那天没泡成 — 想补上 —

他：噢？但是我 — 今天 — 有安排 —

我：是吗？那 — 明天吧 —

他：明天也有安排。

我：噢 —-

01/04/2005

I’m definitely not in love with him…I still let his looks bother me. I still have non-kind thoughts about them…This is not the signs of being in love. I indeed need to get to know him more. I do want long lasting love, true love, love worth fighting for, living for. What is real love? It is satisfaction. Just be with him, I should feel satisfied, happy, definitely should not have any unkind thoughts.

We have had sex, twice. It